Promoting Positive Behaviour

As well as needing care and affection, children clearly need boundaries and want the security which this represents. Our experience is that children of all ages respond best to praise and encouragement. Children need support to learn to manage their own behaviour and to adopt safe forms of expression of their thoughts and feelings.

You will have signed the Foster Care Agreement that you will not use any physical chastisement with any child placed with you. This includes slapping, shaking, smacking and anything that would humiliate the child.

Neither must you subject a child to any measure of control, restraint or discipline that is excessive or unreasonable.

If you are finding the child's behaviour difficult it is a good idea to have a meeting with the child's Social Worker and your supervising social worker.

The Social Workers may be able to contribute ideas about why this child's behaviour is difficult, from their knowledge of the child and their family, and their wider knowledge of children in care. A fostering support plan can be drawn up to support you managing this behaviour.

You should have full information about the child's background to make sure you can keep the foster child, your own child, yourself and any others you may be caring for safe.

Children learn how to behave by watching, listening and talking to the adults who care for them. Children develop their morals and values from what they observe of how adults treat others.

Children need clear boundaries and consistent rules as well as high warmth and nurture.

Any consequence should always be appropriate to the behaviour. Where possible it should be immediate and not prolonged but it is also ok to take time to think about the best way to respond rather than reacting in the moment. Try to ensure that the foster child understands that the consequence is for the unwanted behaviour, but that he/she is not being rejected. Any sanctions to be used with the child or young person should be negotiated at the time of making the placement and be recorded in the Placement Plan. You should also refer to the Rotherham Safeguarding Children and Families Procedures, Behaviour Management and Safe Caring Procedure for fuller guidance.

We recognise the challenge of caring for a child who may have experienced abuse, neglect or trauma and how this can impact on their behaviour. We will ensure you have access to the support you need to begin to understand, manage and respond to young people's behaviour. Part of this will be helping young people to understand the emotions that drive their behaviour, to start to take responsibility for their behaviour and to learn how to resolve conflict.

Since your foster child is new to your home they will not know or understand your rules unless you explain them.

It is important that the child is treated consistently by everyone who is dealing with them, particularly when there are two carers. On-going communication is really important and can be helpful as you start to get to know each other.

You will need to be mindful of the child’s background and early life experiences when setting boundaries and expectations.

Everyone needs to agree on an approach and stick to it. Depending on the age of the child it is useful for them to be involved in conversations about what behaviour is encourage and what consequences there might be for challenging behaviours.

To support a child with their behaviour you need to understand why they behave the way they do. One of the ways we help foster carers to understand the behaviour of the children in their carer is through supporting them to learn therapeutic parenting skills.

Behaviour is communication. As a foster carer, it is your job to be the ‘detective’ and work out what the child really needs in each moment and what their behaviour is telling you, even if their behaviour is challenging! Just as with a baby you would need to work out whether a cry was because the baby was hungry, needed a cuddle, or needed a nappy change; with a child of any age, their behaviour is always telling you something about an unmet need that they need you to meet.

Therapeutic parenting is typically quite different to traditional parenting and therefore there may be differences in the way you are encouraged to parent Looked After Children in your care to the way you parented your birth children, or the way that you were parented yourself. The fostering service works closely with the Rotherham Therapeutic Team to ensure that you are given the training you need right from the start of your fostering journey so that you feel equipped to parent a Looked After Child and you can request a 1-1 consultation with someone from the Therapeutic Team at any time to talk about the child in your care.

You should record behaviour to help you and other professionals understand it.

There are many ways of helping to manage children's behaviour but remember, children and young people respond best to people that they like and respect, a positive relationship is the key to helping them to behave positively.

A child/young person placed with you may be at a low point in their lives. They are vulnerable and may 'act out' their feelings. Most Looked After Children will be highly sensitive to stress and will feel unsafe very easily. Their brains are primed to respond to stress and they can be triggered into ‘survival mode’ (fight/flight/freeze) by situations that you might see as ‘safe’. Remember that challenging behaviours are a form of communication for those who are not able to get their needs met in more acceptable ways.

This may show itself in ways such as bed-wetting, stealing food or money, being rude or aggressive, destructive, isolating themselves or running away.

Your body language and tone of voice are an important part of helping them to feel more safe and demonstrating to them that the relationship between the two of you is not in jeopardy, even when you are teaching them about what is acceptable behaviour and what is not.

Looked After Children can be easily triggered by even just a disapproving or angry look because they are more sensitive to danger and their brain may perceive your body language as a threat, causing them to ‘act out’ in ‘fight/flight/freeze’ – survival mode.

When children are ‘acting out’ they are showing you that they are struggling to manage the situation they are in and need your help. By offering your time, presence, nurture and support, you can help them to feel more safe and therefore to start to use their ‘thinking brain’ rather than their ‘survival brain’ to work out what to do next. Empathy for difficult feelings is the key to understanding challenging behaviour as you show the child that they are accepted for who they are no matter what and that you appreciate that having big feelings is really hard to manage at times.

It is best to try and talk to a child when they are calm about a situation that has happened, at this point they will be most open to learning from you about how to do things a different way next time.

You should discuss the situation with the child's Social Worker and your Supervising Social Worker to agree how the behaviour can be best managed. You may want to request a referral to the Rotherham Therapeutic Team for a consultation to get advice and support with therapeutic parenting. For more information about why looked after children might behave in the way that they do you might find it beneficial to attend training on attachment and therapeutic parenting. You can ask your supervising social worker about how to access this.

Most children present behaviour that needs to be responded to with some form of discipline at some point. Because of their formative experiences, some children may display very challenging behaviour. It is important to remember that discipline means teaching and this is very different to punishment. It is the job of a foster carer to teach the children in their care how to be in the world.

Foster carer training, support and care planning should equip you with a range of positive strategies for managing challenging behaviour. Remember, in managing any unwanted behaviour, it is the behaviour that is not acceptable and not the child.

Within the agreement signed by you, you have agreed not to use any form of corporal punishment. The term ‘corporal punishment’ should be taken to cover any intentional application of force as punishment including smacking, slapping, pinching, squeezing, shaking, throwing missiles, rough handling and all other humiliating forms of treatment or punishment.

The following sanctions must also not be used:

• Any sanction relating to the consumption or deprivation of food or drink;
• Any restriction on a child's agreed contact with their parents, relatives or friends; visits to the child by their parents, relatives or friends; a child's communications with their social worker, guardian or solicitor; or their access to any telephone helpline providing counselling or advice for children;
• Any requirement that a child wear distinctive or inappropriate clothes;
• The use or withholding of medication or medical or dental treatment;
• The intentional deprivation of sleep;
• The modification of a child's behaviour through bribery or the use of threats;
• Any sanction used intentionally or unintentionally which may humiliate a child or could cause them to be ridiculed;
• Imposing a fine or financial penalty, other than a requirement for the payment of a reasonable sum by way of reparation;
• Any intimate physical examination of a child;
• The withholding of aids/equipment needed by a disabled child;
• Anything which involves a child using any sanction against any other child; or the sanction of a group of children for the behaviour of an individual child;
• Swearing at or the use of foul, demeaning or humiliating language or measures.

Where sanctions are used, they must be reasonable and the minimum necessary to achieve the objective. Also, there should be a belief that the sanction will have the desired outcome - increasing the possibility that acceptable behaviour will follow.

If sanctions are imposed, carers should apply the following principles:

• Sanctions must be the exception, not the rule. A last resort;
• Sanctions must not be imposed as acts of revenge or retaliation;
• Think before imposing the sanctions; don't apply it in the heat of the moment;
• Sanctions may only be imposed upon children for persistent or serious unwanted behaviour where reminders and reprimands have already failed or are likely to fail;
• Sanctions should only be used if there is a reasonable chance they will have the desired effect of making the point and in reducing or preventing further unacceptable behaviour;
• Before applying any sanction, make sure the child is aware that his/her behaviour is unacceptable and, if possible, warn him/her that sanctions will be applied if the unacceptable behaviour continues;
• It is the certainty not the severity of sanctions that is important;
• Sanctions should only last as long as they need to and allow the child the opportunity to make a fresh start as quickly as possible.

Sanctions should always be discussed in advance with the supervising social worker and child’s social worker and agreed in the placement plan. To find some examples of sanctions that may be appropriate you can refer to the council’s behaviour management policy which can be found here: Rotherham Safeguarding Children and Families Procedures Manual, Behaviour Management and Safe Caring.

All sanctions should be recorded. The record should contain the opinions of the child or young person. If they are not willing to give an opinion then the record should evidence the time and date that their opinion was sought.

As a service we encourage carers to use therapeutic methods to manage challenging behaviour rather than imposing sanctions as we know from research that this works better for Looked After Children. We have a range of training course available to teach foster carer therapeutic parenting skills as we recognise that this way of parenting may be new to most people. For more information about the training courses available please contact your supervising social worker or the fostering training co-ordinator.

When our emotions become too much for us – we become too giddy, anxious or too angry - we self-regulate to bring our emotions back down to a level we can manage and allow us to function. We do this in many ways, using posture, breathing, movement, activities and how we react to our thoughts. This actually alters our brain chemistry allowing us to soothe and settle ourselves. We learn how to do this as babies, the way we learn this is by our caregiver co-regulating with us.

If a serious incident such as an accident, violence, assault or damage to property takes place, you should do what is needed to protect children/yourselves from immediate harm, and then notify the Fostering Service immediately.

You should not use any form of Physical Intervention except as a last resort to prevent yourselves or others from being injured or to prevent serious damage to property. Restraint should only be used in exceptional circumstances where it is the only appropriate means to prevent likely injury to the child or other people, or likely serious damage to property, and in a manner consistent with the actions of any good parent. The use of restraint must be reasonable, proportionate and with the minimum of force.You should not use any form of Physical Intervention except as a last resort to prevent yourselves or others from being injured or to prevent serious damage to property. If you feel that a situation is escalating and may lead to the need for physical intervention, including restraint, you should contact the fostering service or out of hours service as soon as possible.

If any form of physical intervention is used, it must be the least intrusive to protect the child, you or others.

At no time should you act unless you are confident of managing the situation safely, without escalation or further injury.

Wherever possible foster carers should use constructive dialogue with the child or guide them away from a confrontational situation. They should also have an understanding of their own emotional response to a confrontation or threat, and know when to withdraw, concede or seek help.

Doors should not be locked to prevent a child from leaving the house or to contain a child in a certain area. If a child leaves the house, you should follow calmly at a safe distance to ensure their safety or if you do not know where they are then they should be reported as missing to the Police and to Social Care.

You should endeavour to deal with as many as possible of the challenges that are involved in caring for children without the involvement of the Police, who should only be involved if:

• An emergency occurs that requires their immediate involvement to protect the child or others;
  
  and
• Following discussion with your Supervising Social Worker / Fostering Duty Worker / Fostering Team Manager;
  
  or
• Out of Hours Social Worker who will liaise with the Out of Hours Service Manager.

If any serious incident occurs or the Police are called, you must notify without delay the relevant Social Worker(s) the Fostering Supervising Social Worker / Fostering Duty Worker / Fostering Team Manager / Out of Hours Social Worker (whichever is applicable) and complete a full report of the incident and actions taken.

All incidents must be reviewed, recorded and monitored and the views of the child sought, dependent on their age and understanding, and understood. Consideration should be given to the impact the intervention had on the child, why this was the right intervention, and what can be done to reduce the need for such an approach in the future.

If there has been an incident whereby physical restraint has been necessary to keep you, the child or someone else safe, a discussion should take place between you, your supervising social worker and the child’s social worker to review the best way to manage the child’s behaviour and consider whether there is a need for further training either in therapeutic parenting to avoid the need to use restraint or, if is felt that physical restraint may sometimes be the only option to keep everyone safe, in how to safely physically restrain.

See also Positive and Proactive Care: Reducing the Need for Restrictive Interventions - Department of Health and Social Care

The use of CCTV or other video recording devices is a form of intervention and must be discussed and agreed by all those involved by following the Surveillance and Monitoring policy.